The end of an era

 I can't believe this pregnancy is almost over.  We found out we were pregnant back in March, and it came as a huge surprise.  We have never gotten pregnant without trying before, and we were not expecting another one.  We always felt like our family was not complete, but I stubbornly refused to do anything about it, as I felt at the limit with the 5 I already have.  Honestly, when I found out we were expecting, I had mixed feelings about it.  I felt blessed that we were being entrusted with another little one, but also not looking forward to doing the baby thing again.  I felt I had paid my dues with the twins, and I deserved to have the "me time" this year, with everyone in school.  I know, selfish of me.

 This pregnancy was really tough; the first trimester I felt sick every moment of every day until I was 16 weeks.  I was cranky, anti-social, and mean to my kids too.  At 13 weeks I thought I was having a miscarriage, and went in for an ultrasound to check the baby's viability.  That was really traumatic for me, as Scott was sick that day and didn't come with me.  I cried the whole way to the hospital.  Luckily, it was nothing, and the baby was healthy.  That's when we found out we were having a boy.  I was so sure that we were having a girl, too, that it came as a shock to be told otherwise.  I never felt comfortable giving away girl stuff, wondering if the 2 ultrasounds we had confirming the gender were correct.  It's taken me this long to get excited about having another baby.  But I am excited about meeting this little guy.  I'm excited to introduce him to his brothers and sisters, the youngest of which ask daily when the baby will be coming out.  They are so excited to be a big brother and big sister for a change.

 This will definitely be my last pregnancy.  I'm approaching 40, and already feel like Grandma Moses, or like Abraham's Sarah, giving birth at my old age:)  I always thought I'd kick up my heels at never having to be pregnant again, and part of me feels that, but it's also a hard reality to think that this is the last time I will feel what it feels like to have a baby get the hiccups, or explore his surroundings with some sound kicks to my abdomen, or know that I am growing another totally unique, one-of-a-kind human being inside me, or know that I am partners with Heavenly Father in creating a mortal body for another of his precious spirit children.  This chapter of my life will be over when this baby is born.  I will miss the kids wanting to put their hands on my tummy to feel their brother moving inside me, and having them put their mouths to my belly to tell the baby goodnight at bedtime, or introduce themselves, so the baby will know their voices too when he's born.  So while pregnancy is not my preferred state to be in, and it comes with many inconveniences and aches and pains, I am extremely grateful to be able to carry a baby and bring another spirit into this world.

 We look forward to meeting you soon, Little One!